This page has been visited
A picture of Silly Willy will fit in here. As soon as I can find a camera that won't break when it takes his picture.
I hope to have a little something for everyone.
Clown jokes, teacher jokes, kid jokes.
JOKES, JOKES, AND MORE JOKES.
Magic that you can do without knowing any magic.
Silly lines to use with magic for kids.
Fun things for teachers to try to lighten up their classrooms.
And links to tons of interesting things.
One section will be about my first published book, which I'm really excited about. It's called 'CLOWN JOKES AND WALKAROUND GAGS' and you can read all about it in the last section. Of course they'll be more published children's books and clown books (I have quite a few making the rounds of publishers) and I'll have more about them soon (I hope.)
There will be more stuff coming along, so stay tuned. I hope you bookmark this page and come back again. If you have any jokes you would like to submit or any other information you would like to give me my E-mail address is;
sillywilly@mindspring.com
Keep on smiling!!
Clown walks around a music store and says to the clerk, "I want to buy that red trumpet and that accordian." Clerk says, Well, you can buy that fire extiguisher, but I have to keep the radiator."
Cop stops a clown with a desk strapped on his back, a typewriter under one arm, a wastebasket and a pencil sharpener under the other. "What are you doing?" Asks the cop. The clown says, "Impersonating an office, sir."
Why did Bubbles the clown put his cake in the freezer? He wanted icing on it.
Why did Buttons the clown plant bird seeds in the back yard? She wanted to grow birds.
Patches the clown used to work in a candy factory but they let him go. He kept throwing away all the M & M's that said W.
Why did Rosy the clown eat a dollar bill? She thought it was lunch money.
Shorty the clown is so short you can see his head AND his feet on his driver's license.
Why do clown's wash their clothes in Tide? Because it's too cold out Tide.
Silly Willy the clown had a really close call recently. The experience has completely changed his life. He was horseback riding, and everything was going just fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. He tried with all his might to really hang on, but he was thrown off the horse. His foot got caught in the stirrup and he fell head first to the ground. His head kept bouncing harder and harder and the horse never stopped or even slowed down. Just when things looked the worst and Silly Willy had given up hope there was a miracle - The manager of WalMart's unplugged the merry go round.
Giggles the clown went into a gas station and asked the clerk, "Do you have any clown crackers?" "No, I'm sorry," said the clerk, "this is a gas station we don't have any clown crackers." So Giggles left. Ten minutes later she came back and said, "Do you have any clown crackers?" "No." said the clerk, "I just told you that ten minutes ago." So Giggles left. Ten minutes later she came back and said, "Could I have some clown crackers?" "Look," said the clerk, getting really mad, "I've told you three times. This is a gas station. WE DON'T HAVE ANY CLOWN CRACKERS." So Giggles left again. Ten minutes later she's back. "Could I have some clown crackers?" she asked sweetly. The clerk flew into a rage and started throwing things around. "I've told you and told you. We don't have any clown crackers. If you come back in this station again and ask for clown crackers, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor." Giggles ran out of the store. Ten minutes later she's b-a-a-a-a-ck. "Do you have any nails?" she asked sweetly. "No," screamed the clerk. "Good," said Giggles. "Could I have some clown crackers?"
..............................................NURSERY RHYME JOKES.........................
Hickory Dickory Dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The Clock struck one and the other one got away.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men, had scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Mary had a little lamb. With fleas all in a row. And everywhere that Mary went, the itch was sure to go.
Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack jumped over the the candle...OOPS!
Hey, diddle diddle. The cat and the fiddle. The cow jumped over the moon, because the farmer had very cold hands.
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater. Had a wife and couldn't keep her. He put her in a pumpkin shell and after a week---Boy did she smell!
Pease porridge hot. Pease porridge cold. Pease porridge in the pot nine days old. Phew!
Little Miss Muffet. Sat on a tuffet. Eating her big bowl of stew. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and she went and ate him too!
What did Cinderella say to the photographer? Some day my prints will come.
What do you have if you keep seeing talking animals? Disney-spells.
Who has green hair and likes bears? Mouldy Locks.
What's the name of the little girl who carries a basket to grandma's house and steals her jewelry? Little Red Robbing Hood.
What character grows cucumbers for a pickle factory? The farmer in the dill.
What does the Ginger Bread Boy put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What fairy doesn't take baths? Stinkerbell.
"CLOWN JOKES AND WALKAROUND GAGS"
published by
Piccadilly Books
P. O. Box 25203
Colorado Springs, CO 80936
Order it from your local magic shop, novelty store, or clown store. Go in and make a pest of yourself. Tell them you really need the book.
Order it direct from the publisher. The cost is $8 plus $2 shipping and handling.
Or order it from Amazon.com
What do you get for 10 bucks? You get over 60 pages of jokes and cartoons. There are over one hundred jokes about clowns and many pages of cartoons and illustrated clown walkaround gags by yours truly. You can use the jokes and gags as soon as you receive the book.
Who knows? Some day it might even be a collector's item. "The first published book written and illustrated by Ron Burgess." What a deal!!
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